“How do you clinch?”
It took a second to understand Coach’s question before the
proverbial light bulb went off. “Oh, yeah…” I nodded. I proceeded to wrap my
hands around the back of his neck and dig my elbows into his shoulders. I did a
light knee to the rib, for good measure. “Hmmm. I remember this…” I thought.
I had just joined a new boxing and kickboxing gym the week
prior, after taking my 3 free classes, of course. In October, without fanfare
and, frankly, without too much thought, I embarked on some significant
lifestyle changes that in my previous 99 attempts failed the second work got
too busy. I didn’t want to over-analyze or think about the long road ahead or
think about how hard it would be. I was just tired of being limited by my own
body. I was ready to start caring about myself again.
So in October of this year, I sheepishly decided to re-join the juggernaut of weight loss groups, yet again. The program works if you commit. There are definitely some things
about it that I could live without. Like the hotly debated topic of why, when
eaten whole, an apple is zero points, but when blended in a smoothie, it might
jump to 1 point. But, I take from it what helps. And what helps is being
accountable, tracking what you eat and community.
I like my meeting leader. And although I have a definite
bias against male meeting leaders really understanding what it’s like for
women, he’s amusing and well-intentioned and seems to care. I’ve been pretty
consistent in attending meetings. With the exception of traveling for work, I
haven’t missed a meeting since I started. I’ve turned a corner here, people. I
usually give up the program once life on the road gets too exhausting. Eight hours in a middle seat? Feel better
with chocolate and red wine. Expense account? I’m eating every course of every
meal every day. Didn’t get chance to
eat all day? I will make up for it at the end of the day by eating until I fall
asleep.
Theoretically, it’s not hard. Stop eating junk. Eat whole
foods, mostly plants. Don’t eat too much. So I try. And I keep trying every
day. God, it ain’t easy, especially with cold weather and darkness, impending
holidays, end-of-the-year madness. The environment is telling you to hibernate,
watch Netflix and eat mac-and-cheese. But I trudge on and pound-by-pound, some
weeks by mere fractions, I’m slowly pushing
the needle left.
But this is a multi-prong approach. Feeding yourself good
food is only one tactic in my plan to feel good. I had to start working out
again. I couldn’t bring myself to step foot in my old gym. Too many memories,
too many ghosts. Luckily, my office had a nice little gym with a cardio room
that hardly ever got used. Or, as I like to call it, my own personal fitness
center. Most weeknights, I would plug in my phone, blast my music and proceed
to jump rope, do some conditioning exercises and shadowbox. Although my attempts
to get co-workers to join me failed miserably, it didn’t discourage me. I was often
out-of-breath, nursing shoulder pain, rocking sore calves...all of it, the good
kind of pain. The kind that tells you, Hey,
you’re still alive! Be thankful!
After two months, I had grown a bit weary
of kicking and punching air and so I started looking around for a new gym-home.
Should I join my old KB gym? Judging from their website, it looked busier than
ever and they had gotten some very cool-looking, new equipment. Was my Ex still
a member? He got the gym, post-breakup. Should I re-join my other old KB gym, near my work? It was
never really a perfect fit for me, either. The membership mostly consisted of
kids and older kids half my age. The search continued...
